1. |
mmKe
01:59
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2. |
Wayfaring Stranger
02:59
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3. |
interlude 1
01:26
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4. |
Dropped The Ceiling
04:20
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I dropped the ceiling
I dropped the ceiling
and I can’t move forwards
and I can’t move backwards
I pushed the buttons
I pushed the buttons
and I don’t know why
and I don't know why
push me around
push me around
tell me how to live
tell me to live
and I don't care how others think
and I don’t care how others see
and I don’t care what you think of me
just let me be
I dropped the ceiling
I dropped the ceiling
and I don't know why
and I don't know why
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5. |
5th Grade
07:07
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tie a rope around my waist
drag me across an open field
help me lose my memory
I won't forget
feed me 7UP and ice cream
rate me on a scale of fine to worse
talk to them like I don't understand
I'm too hurt to be humiliated
iced coffee
bagels in the morning
they don't let you sleep at night
IV
bloody baggies
bruised and held with scotch tape
and all these places where you can't go cuz you didn't know to them
and all these thoughts you're too young to think
impressionable don't mean anything cuz you can't read between the lines
it's what they say
it's all ok
I read it in Parenting Magazine today
you're not listening
tell me I'm better
tell me I'm smarter
leave me alone
books that you read to make you feel stronger
grades that you make to help make you feel stronger
people you listen to to help make you feel better
opinions you have don't make you any better
give me one more chance
I know I can
give me a secret key
that gets me out
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6. |
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you don't know me
and I don't know you
and I think this is going nowhere
and I think that you're not sure yet
I know, I don't know
I know, I don't know
this is pretty silly but I feel really comfortable
and I don't know,
maybe I'm scary on the outside
pickled fingertips and everybody's problems
I become everyone's problem
I take on everyone's problems
I know, I don't know
I know, I don't know
you don't know me
and I don't know you
and I think this is going nowhere
and I think that you're not sure yet
I know, I don't know
I know, I don't know
maybe we could start out like the movies eating ice cream
taking walks and being silly
but I don't do those kinds of things
no I don't do those kids of things
cuz I don't do anything
you don't know me
and I don't know you
and I think this is going nowhere
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7. |
High School Fall
02:43
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|
wasted off a bottle of vodka
driving as fast as you can
white powder thoughts surrounding
won't get home til I can
flying out at 70 an hour
running from the man
bitch face woman got you messin'
hope she know just what she's done
put the blame on my head
police come comin' round
mind your fucking business
I know who killed you man
and I
high school fall
be worked into submission
do what they say is cool
speak lies to make it worth it
speak lies to overcome
and I
high school fall
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8. |
Heathens
09:06
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He looked at me said lets go for a ride
He grabbed my hand and he led me inside
I became what he wanted I became the perfect only
I was the only only only
Except the girls on his email
He taught me how you smoke and roll it
I learned how to be quiet
I learned to stay when he told me he was gonna kill himself that night
I learned with a tab of acid that even crazy can seem normal
I’m glad he didn't kill us
I am glad I didn't let him
I went down on my insides
I went down in the shower
I learned how to be quiet
I learned to let nobody notice
I learned how to accept love in the form that it was given
I learned how to climb a rockface
and how his parents never noticed
And we are heathens
And we are heathens
He told me how he had took the gun
How he should have done what he might have done
They told him he was crazy so he became what they told him
And I wish that I could tell him
That everything will be just fine
But you are not fine
You are in trouble
I left him out of nowhere
did my nails on the bus almost got kicked off and listened to Sober
I drank my fill of whiskey I had never gotten drunker
I replaced you with some other who was just a little better
And we are heathens
And we are heathens
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9. |
interlude 2
04:28
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10. |
wait
04:20
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wait
I am up here all alone this mountaintop is shrouded in snow
wait
I have been waiting for years to be let go
I can't pull down it's too deep
wait
wait for safety
wait for reason
wait for knowledge
wait for sleep
wait
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11. |
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it's time for something new
can't go to sleep without thinking of you
my heart is heavy but my soul won't break
I'll think a little thought for you
when did the winds turn away
when did you stop wanting to play
well, it might be my fault
but I'll go on anyway
and think a little thought for you
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12. |
Spiders In My Brain
01:37
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there's a bag full of bones under my bed
there's a bag full of bones under my bed
don't know how long they've been here but they've been here all the same
there's a bag full of bones under my bed
there's a web full of spiders in my head
there's a web full of spiders in my head
I see them coming they bite me with their poison
there's a web full of spiders in my head
there's a box full of photographs in my brain
there's a box full of pictures in my brain
well I'd let you see them but they'd drive you quite insane
there's a box full of photographs in my brain
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13. |
pull me
04:57
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pull me closer then fall
pull me closer than ever before
pull me closer then drown
pull me closer and taste what's more
pull me closer then hit the ground
fall to pieces then kiss the ground
I am the sky
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14. |
S.A.D.
03:14
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rain is falling and I wonder what you are missing
and I'm thinking of a person
who is lonely, who is all I need
these plants are growing, but they will die soon with the winter, with the coldness
don't you know December is the time for staying inside with your white lines pretending it's alright
I've got an expired prescription maybe we can go and fill it at the candy store where Christmas tells us something exciting's about to happen
but around this time three years ago I watched you fade away with oxycontin and tubes in your arms I hope you didn't see me cry
and it's been this way for so long
I've got my poems and my Chopin pieces let's build a fort and talk about how death is so close and so far
even if you don't understand I definitely don't understand
and if you want to talk about something else that's ok too
and I've been thinking about how the world's so fucking big and the universe is even bigger and that is really scary and most the time I don't want to be a part of either
and I remember all those family and friends who told me if I kept living that way I'd end up dead well maybe I will anyhow
and when these pills run through my veins
and when this knife runs through my veins
I hope that you feel something cuz the point of that shit is to not
and it's been this way for so long
rain is falling and it will always keep falling
and I'm thinking of a person
who is lonely, who is all I need
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